16 Immutable Laws of Life

LAW OF PROBABILITY

The odds of being watched are directionally proportional to the stupidity of your act.

LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS

The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

MURPHY'S LAW

If something can go wrong, it will.

WEILER'S LAW

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

WEILER'S CORROLARY

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

SHANAHAN'S LAW

The length of a meeting rises by the square of the number of people present.

FINAGLE'S LAW

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

ZAPPA'S LAW

There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity.

DANIEL'S THEOREM

If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.

POINT OF NO RETURN LAW

The light at the end of the tunnel is probably the headlight of an oncoming train.

LAW OF PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY

Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

CORRIGAN'S THEOREM

If there is more than one way in which a system can operate, it will usually operate the wrong way.

DOCTOR'S LAW

If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go the doctor and by the time you get there, you are better. If you don't make an appointment, you'll stay sick.

LAW OF THE RESULT

When you try to prove to someone that a machine doesn't work, it will.

THE IMMOKALEE ROAD AXIOM

The first one to see a traffic light turn green is always in the the third car back.

SOD'S LAW

In any given set of circumstances, events will combine to provide the maximum amount of inconvenience for the greatest number of people.